debt-relief information

Mr. cheapies careful financial plan tips - debt-relief


So you feel like a hamster rotary your wheel? The closer you run, the nearer the wheel spins. Just when you get a raise, you become aware of the price of hamster wheels jumps!

Mr. Cheapie is here with his super-charged budget-cutting tips.

One of the largest wastes of money is restaurant meals. You can cook a meal at home for about 2 cents a plate. Just put scraps in the microwave, and Presto!

Those same odds and ends cost a lot more at a restaurant. They call it "the buffet", and they sell it to you for $10. 95.

Consider also the steak feast that costs, say, $7 at home. At the restaurant, you pay $13. 95 for the same meal. Or, if you want fancy napkins, $39. 95.

Plus tax.

Funny thing about intake at home; you don't pay tax. But step into a restaurant, and guess who jumps in: "Hello, my name is Taxman. I'll be your ma?tre d'h?tel tonight. Would you like to start with a touch to drink? Conceivably a very nice glass of wine? That will be 50 cents, plus the price of the wine, of course. "

"Why would you tax my wine?" Mr. Cheapie wonders. "It's not like the command made it. "

"Who do you think keeps this land free and safe so that you can enjoy your wine?" Taxman demands. "Do you think Saddam Hussein would let you drink wine if he was still in power?"

"I don't see how he could stop me. "

"Hah!" Taxman replies. "He has spies everywhere. He knows you drink wine and he has besieged this very container to self destruct. "

"Actually, I don't drink wine. His spies must run on the same know-how as his scud missiles," Mr. Cheapie muses. "How about a steak dinner?"

"An exceptional choice," Taxman beams. "That will be $1. 73, plus the price of the meal. "

"Now what?" Mr. Cheapie demands. "Are you axiom that Saddam is targeting my steak. "

"Of choice not," Taxman giggles. "We have him protected away. But watch out for North Korea. "


"North Koreans are starving," Taxman explains. "They don't have steaks. "

"Ah, so the North Korean command wants to take my steak and give it to their citizens. "

"Not a chance. That would violate the authoritative North Korean guidelines of hunger for all. They would never feed your steak to the people. But they would hold it up to taunt them," Taxman grins. "Then they would throw it into the fire to fuel a nuclear missile qualified on this very table you are session at. "

"Which is why you need to tax my steak. "

"Exactly," Taxman nods.

"It's like a guarantee deposit. "

"That's right," Taxman smiles.

"It's guard money. "

"You understand," Taxman winks.

"It's your tip. "

"That's what I sa . . . no it's not! It's citizen defense," Taxman insists.

At home, you never have to tip the microwave. But, at the restaurant, your attendant expects 15%.

Mr. Cheapie has open a legal loophole to save 15% on your restaurant bill. According to a citizen Mr. Cheapie survey, your plate as a rule has 15% too much food on it. Set aside 15% of your meal. When your head waiter comes to amass his tip, pay him in food. Your ma?tre d'h?tel raved about today's special, so Mr. Cheapie is sure he will be conscious of having some for himself.

If Taxman is your waiter, don't essentially give him the food. Just taunt him with it -- then mail it to North Korea. Then they won't have to blow up your table to get it themselves. Why pay for citizen apology when the postal assistance can defend your candor to eat for just the cost of a stamp?

Aren't you glad Mr. Cheapie offers such useful, free advice?

About The Author

David Leonhardt - sign up for his weekly satire article up at http://www. TheHappyGuy. com/positive-thinking-free-ezine. html or read more columns at http://www. TheHappyGuy. com/self-actualization-articles. html.

Join in the happiness at http://www. thehappyguy. com, info@thehappyguy. com

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